Cancer walks into a restaurant.
The maitre'd says, "Will you be dining alone?"
Cancer: Not tonight
Maitre'd: Who will be joining you?
Cancer: My good friend ASD
Maitre'd: Who or what, in god's name, is ASD?
Cancer: It's a hole in the heart.
That's right people - there's a hole. In Nancy's heart. Not left by me. It's always been there. Never closed after she was born.
In preparation for chemotherapy all patients are required to have an EKG and an Echocardiogram. A sonogram of the heart if you will. Nancy's EKG revealed a hole. There are not enough expletives to properly convey our feelings regarding this recent turn of events.
Nancy requires heart surgery to repair the hole before she is able to start chemo. We haven't set the date yet, we'll let you know. And no, this is not a joke. I asked just to make sure. I told the doctor that called that her call was not amusing. I think I may have frightened her.
The last surgery went well and she is already up and about. The pain seems to be much less than the last surgery.
The good news (ha!) is they will not have to perform open heart surgery. The doctor who performed the EKG said the hole is small(but big enough to need surgery, eh doc?), and will be fixed by placing a patch over the hole. They will send a tube up a vein in either her leg or arm and she will only stay in the hospital overnight.
This shouldn't effect the chemo as it can be delayed up to 12 weeks from the date of the mastectomy. The doctor at Emory was great and we are trying to decide between her and another oncologist we really liked.
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HOLY MOLY. Unbelievable.... but, maybe it's a good thing it was discovered? Perhaps the hole in her heart would've gone undetected and caused problems later? Wow. When I get back from taking the bar I am going to set up camp at nancy's side and fan her and feed her grapes. Promise.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is I love you, and if you guys need anything just let me know. Can I make a reservation for Nancy-entertaining?
ReplyDeleteSean, all along I thought you would plug the hole in her heart, but apparently you weren't up to the task. I do have to commend The Nance for both filling my days with a great mix of misfortune and comedy (nothing funny about it, just Team Nancy's presentation). This blog should be published some day in a book, as a "medical dramedy?"
ReplyDeleteOh, and also, as a precaution Nancy will not be allowed to use her hands or feet for the next 24 months. In addition, she can only eat crushed ice (no cubes) and iceberg lettuce. Side effects of the heart surgery will also include spontaneous damage to both retinas, cyclical bladder infections (once per week), and the loss of her tail.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to the whole Nance team!